Friday, 13 October 2006

Downward spiral

You've been reading far too many books on body language. I've got my arms crossed cos I'm cold, shit. Nothing against you, mate. No, I'm ok. Just a bit distressed. Forgot my book twice this week and got hooked again. No books in the train, let's grab a newspaper. First I read them cos I have no books and a few days later I just read them for the sake of it, leaving my book in the catacombs of my huge bag. A few weeks pass and I'm looking for them papers avidly.

Sometimes I just don't think. You see me checking every carriage while the tube train stops at the station, as if I'm looking for someone, my eyes surveying all seats like a boarding school inspector. Even when I'm right at the beginning of the platform and I have to peep real quick cos the train is moving real fast, I still try. It all means I woke up too late so there is no more Metro newspaper by the entrance of the station, but I can usually find one. Immediately in those lucky days, never in those bad ones.

For some unknown reason, in the last couple of months the free newspapers multiplied themselves like gremlins in a pond. We now have 3 types of fuckers, and an average 25 copies laying around in each carriage. They are made with special ink that doesn't come off on your hands. Goooooooood. Content? The Metro is quite entertaining but full of useless statistics. The other 2? Well... Kate Moss farted, X got bigger boobs, Y got stabbed, letters from the furious readers, completely revolted with Madonna's new African baby (get a life!), and so on.

The TV critic used a whole page to completely destroy 3 programs, and I wondered what type of human being watches complete rubbish in order to criticize it. Isn't it the most miserable way to spend your days?? And then I realized I was down there in the food chain. I was criticizing the negative critic of rubbish TV programs, so I must be three times worse.

So in this downward spiral of filthiness I came out of the tube to find a Big Issue seller. God bless ya, mate. Bought it and read it, cleaning my system, brought back to light.

Here is the ad that I like the most:

Say goodbye to your petrol station. Use totally green road fuel. A simple upgrade can make most diesel lorries, vans and cars run on locally-produced, carbon neutral rapeseed oil. Feel good about your car and fight climate change.


twit said...

Personally, I don't drive anyway .. but yes! Fantastic.. Cheap too!

twit said...

Someone has since told me that rapeseed oil is not viable on a scale that would make much difference.

-Too much land required, apparently. There'd be nowhere left to grow food!


Then again, it was Jeremy Clarkson that told me..

That guy's a serious bell-end.


Paulette said...

Dead end. haha.