I'm a wanker

I love wanking. It’s great. I like doing it, alone or with my boyfriend, I like talking about it, and I like reading about it. I should have been setting off to my local gym so, obviously, unconsciously, I got lost in the internet maze. Random links took me to this man’s post recommending this book, The Hite Report: A National Study of Female Sexuality. Man, what a blast! haha. I would have never imagined such realities existed! I read quotes from women saying all sorts of things, from “I don’t masturbate cos I feel bad about it” to “If I don’t reach an orgasm when I have sex with my man I get really angry”. Strange. Very interesting book thou.

I came to realise I’m a very uncomplicated being. I like bad sex, fast sex, sex without orgasm, slow and romantic sex, very bad sex, very good sex, no sex + wanking… I think there’s always hope and new beginnings. If you don’t come today, you can always come tomorrow. I should be grateful I have a functioning body and a partner to make it with, and if I didn’t have a partner, but still a functioning body, I’d be more than glad to keep on wanking.

We’re taught sexual intercourse with a man is the “proper thing” and the “proper way” to get orgasms, but, is it really? I put those statements on the same box I put beliefs. Actually, they focking ARE beliefs! You believe you have to come every time or you’re a failure, you believe you have to freaking love penetration, you believe masturbation is dirty, you believe you have to be like this or like that, and then, bang! You end up being the weirdo in a book about sexuality.

I think women are now stuck on this pretty slimy stage of our civilization’s development. As mentioned in the book, before the institutionalization of intercourse as the basic form of sexual pleasure, we used to live in clans where the whole family would care for children, “the mother did not particularly “own the child”, and there was no concept of “father” at all. In fact, the male role in reproduction was not understood for quite a long time, and intercourse and male orgasm were not connected with pregnancy which of course only became apparent many months later. But with changeover to a patrilineal or patriarchal society, it becomes necessary for the man to control the sexuality of the woman.”

And then all the mess began. Dudes want to be sure the kid is theirs, and because of that, amongst other reasons, they marry a virgin, keep her locked up and do everything they can to decrease her erotic impulses with tactics varying from cutting her clit to making her think that sex is the same thing as love. I’m damn well brainwashed with that one, I must say. They did a good job on me. My libido is freaking high but I do “feel” love and sex go hand in hand. I’m glad the brainwashing went only that far in my case, cos judging by the reports on that book, the mental chastity belt is well ingrained in women’s brains today. Poor little things, by-products of political and religious manoeuvres.

So, “intercourse has been institutionalized in our culture as the only permissible form of sexual activity” and here we are, year 2010, trying hard to convince our little minds that forms of sexuality other than intercourse are not abnormal and unhealthy so we can have a little wank, while animals enjoy the full spectrum of physical contact without having their mental health questioned.

And then Freud comes, saying “If you don’t have orgasms during intercourse, you’re hung up.” I would like to send Freud to hell if he’s not already there. A man has to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse for obvious reasons, but a woman? Hmmm… Most of us women don’t really reach orgasm through penetration, simply cos having an orgasm while shagging won’t particularly aid procreation. Most of us like rubbing things on our clits, and if you have to do it to reach orgasm, I would say DO IT! Our sexuality is not that connected to procreation, if you ever thought so. Women sometimes feel even hornier when they are NOT on their fertile period. Our little sexual parts are there for fun too, and it’s time to disconnect them from everything: men, procreation, relationships, sexual intercourse… Yes! Let’s allow our clits to flow through space like horny little blueberries!

I’d like to start a campaign for waking at this very moment, and I really hope you join me on this one. It’s a campaign for waking anytime, anywhere, with company or not. Let’s wank on our lunch breaks, let’s wank with our partners, having sexual intercourse or not, let’s wank before bed, first thing in the morning, let’s wank!