Wednesday, 17 June 2009

No more beers

You know beer is really bad for you? Scientists discovered it contains oestrogens, which make you talk shit and do silly things.

Yeah, what’s up with women? It’s so hard to work with them. Maybe it’s just me, maybe the women I know, but I find men particularly uncomplicated, and women specially tormenting.

We were, the 4 of us women, organizing this fairly big party where I live so I spent most of my time in the last couple of months having to cut through a curtain of emotions to get to the point. Very tiring.

Every object needed at the bar was like a death row wish, every customer an ordeal, every second an hour of misery.

A simple thing like looking for a pair of scissors becomes a huge undelayable mission. So I have this blond female sweating, shaking in front of me asking for a pair of scissors so she could hang some stupid flags. What do I do? Laugh, obviously. A man comes in, hears the emotional appeal and strolls to the next house, coming back with scissors in a few seconds. Nice.

It happened throughout the party, throughout my life, but it could be just a conurbation of coincidences. Maybe.

Later on I had to present the issue of no drum kit to all the bands, and the guys smiled at me saying they would try and sort it out, while the girls band spent hours screaming and running around like nuttas, cursing the late drummer bringing the drum kit, demanding we set them up in a different floor, just cos they like it. Haha. Madness. The MEN brought the drum kit later on and blew everyone’s minds with their magik music while the girls disappeared after blagging money from the till. So shit. Is it just another coincidence? Maybe I don’t notice men’s problems, or maybe I like them…

It’s funny how the limbic system takes over the whole of the female brain if we have any emotional issue to be sorted. I hate it in my own brain. I trust women to be clever, ingenious and all things good, if only we could rewire our brains into something more efficient. We must realise it ourselves in order to have some equality. We're not ready yet. I feel for men, really. I’m gonna campaign for them. Enough is enough.


La Sirena said...

Hmmm... I agree with you in ways.

For example, my sister and I have been talking about how nice it would be if we could just deal with the must/needs in a family crisis without it turning into a big performance art exhibit for the most emotively excessive member of our family (female). I mean, enough with the fucking feelings already. It's such a class-privelged bunch of shit, anyway. (But men also have their annoying quirks.)

I was on a camping trip with a bunch of girlfriends recently and we all had our periods at the same time and for 2 days every statement was wrung out for every nuance of emphasis and significance on every which syllable an or whatever...

When I came home I had to get wretchedly drunk with the boys.

Aaahhhh! All better now.

Paulette said...

HAHAHAHA... OMG... Bunch of girls all in their periods at the same time!!!! No wonders some tribes isolate women when it happens. Brave you! :)

welcome back to the world of logic.

I wondered if I was going to annoy any girlfriends with this post but something told me you would agree. And I was right.