R.A.W. rests in peace

Robert Anton Wilson Defies Medical Experts and leaves his body @4:50 AM on binary date 01/11.

All Hail Eris!

On behalf of his children and those who cared for him, deepest love and gratitude for the tremendous support and lovingness bestowed upon us.

(that's it from Bob's bedside at his fnord by the sea)

RAW Memorial February 2007
date to be announced

Guardian Obituaries

Check out a post on his blog a few days before he left us.

- Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night

Various medical authorities swarm in and out of here predicting I have between two days and two months to live. I think they are guessing. I remain cheerful and unimpressed. I look forward without dogmatic optimism but without dread. I love you all and I deeply implore you to keep the lasagna flying.

Please pardon my levity, I don't see how to take death seriously. It seems absurd.

RAW

Virtual insanity

I strongly recommend Second Life. Got there a bit lost but soon found my mates girlfriend and went for a walk with her, sweet creature. Some places look very nice and I even managed to find a meditation place/art gallery where you earn while you sit on sofas. My second life is as easy as my first one. I've got a nice body, a strong name and money. Asked my first second life friend a few questions and we soon agreed (she's Brazilian) that I needed a pussy. She took me to a specialist shop where I bought a highly customizable xoxota for a bargain. Not a wise thing to do on your first day there cos I was still getting used to the controllers and things so trying it out, matching the colours and learning how to hide, show, pee, come and all these things vaginas do was a mission.

I put my clothes on, and she teletransported us two to a beach in Brazil. We strolled around while I played with my new toy, hiding and showing. She gave me a motorcycle and I got stuck with it in a hole. She laughed and asked me if I wanted to go back to the pussy shop to try and match my pussy with my skin colour. Off we went. I forgot to get off the bike before we travelled and got stuck in that motorbike position. So then I was naked, bending with a multicoloured pussy showing, half of my body outside the changing room and slightly embarrassed. My second life started to kick in.

I did what I always suggest to everyone in similar circumstances. Reboot. Restart. We went to an S&M dungeon where I could strap myself to one of those wooden things and focus on my pussy. For a moment I thought that was a good analogy of my situation now but the feeling went, I matched colours and we went shopping and clubbing with my friend. Found truly amazing places and very, very interesting people. I'm a skilful mover now. It is addictive, but I definitely see the point.

Words are boxes

Words are boxes and each and every one of us paints them with colours no one else sees. The more words we learn the more we think we live in a spacious house with a garden, but still they limit us, still we are scared to go out sometimes. Some people, like women in chauvinistic cultures, live in a world of 2000 words or less. Some may think it's cosy in there, since you wouldn't have much to clean or fix like a small flat downtown, but most are trapped in a very small cage, with no shelves to put their worldly memories on. Their memories are hanging in the air, which could as well be nice.

I have boxes inside boxes, words inside words, and despite the fact that I have many thousands of boxes, the way they are intricately piled makes any abstract wind a big threat. Would they fit the physical idea I try to convey? Mostly they don't and it's partly my fault.

I sometimes make new boxes euphorically, compulsively, to later find out that I'm only building my own dungeon, what doesn't stop me from decorating it with care. But after spending so much time trying to fit our different concepts inside the same boxes I decided to pretend for a few moments I live in one box only, and it feels good. It made me make fewer boxes and also open them to free the content. Right now, as I finish this writing, I'm walking into a very tiny box, and all things in life have no name.

My Arcadia

I'd much rather love than be loved. If both happen, great, but if I had to choose, oh silly supposition, I would choose to love. It happens inside our precious minds and every cell, every receptor loves and floats in this beam of eternity. Those little 5 square inches in the back of your neck is as in love as your mind is when your lover floods your mind space. Every single inch is as in love as you feel when for a few moments, or hours if it's a huge love, there is noboby else in the world. Just you and your loved one. Just love. Try it now. Your whole body is listening.

We sometimes fool ourselves, thinking that we must reach the loved one, touch the loved one, but I think we are tripping. We must hold the loved one with care in our minds and love. Can you see your loved one bursting with laughter? I can see it! My loved one is so happy! My loved one has a golden white light all around his body and he shines with happiness and bliss. He has everything. He is everything. A self-contained fraction of the world's finest feelings. Can you feel this feeling? Close your eyes. There is no tomorrow, there is nothing apart from your love. Every time you breath in and out your lover feels even happier, and you feel happy too, because you love with no boundaries (yes, you can) and every bit of your body greets this wave of love with the joy of those who just found out that they will live forever.

I'm sure I will see you again. Oh, maybe not. But that is not the point. I just want you to live in my mind for now, for there you are the most beautiful source of delight, my Arcadia, divine happiness, my unconditional love. Your smell... I remember your heavenly smell... Oh no, no, not down that road...

Hypocrisy in the tropics

Every time I come back to Brazil is the same thing. Who shagged whom? Who wants to kiss whom? Kiss, kiss. Shag, shag. Gringos go there and go crazy! Wow, you're very liberated, you Brazilians, hu? No, my dear, we're very stuck in a loop. Everyone thinks about fulfilling his or her immediate needs. No long time planning at all! Food, sex, things that give us instant buzz, ooohh yeah, loads. The thing that bugs me the most is that they talk about sex, they actually have loads of sex but there is a constant taboo and the girls who admit liking it are called sluts and other sweet names. My reaction to it was to move out and avoid sexual relationships with Brazilians. It works. I feel free to yell to the world I have an amazing sexual past, I like sex, but I don't always talk about it. Do I write about sex here? Rarely! It's always on my mind but I make it special. It is the most amazing thing in life and men in England are very aware of that. Brazilians are mostly vulgar, trapped in the social-sexual circuit, blind to the fact that they are prisoners to their own sexuality, and the government loves it!! We have all the resources a country needs to be completely self sufficient, yet we are slaves to U.S.A., fucked in the arse by our politicians due to our complete ignorance and "joy de vivre". Carpe diem, my fellow Brazilians. Enjoy it to the most. Shag while politicians fuck you. I'm here with sex on my mind, feeling the bliss of having, on the top of sex, loads of other concerns, plans and hopes.

I don't know if you know Cicarelli. She's a beautiful model/MTV presenter that recently married/divorced Ronaldo, the fat football player. She was filmed with her new businessman boyfriend on the beach in Spain, kissing and hugging, getting in the water and discreetly shagging him with water up to her waist. The video ended up on youtube and the Brazilians went crazy! They flooded the Internet reaching unprecedented view rates. They left astonishingly rude comments and Cicarelli is now officially a whore in Brazil. She was shagging her BOYFRIEND in Spain, so to the narrow Brazilian minds she is a slut. My first thought when a stupid Brazilian mate sent me the video was, it must be quite uncomfortable to shag under water. My second thought after reading the comments and the articles about the whole public reaction was, THANK GOD I LEFT THAT SHITHOLE! In time, sorry my dearest friends. You are wonderful exceptions. Hope you are surrounded by other exceptions too.

Now the amoebas can't access youtube cos they are not allowed to see the video due to a legal action. Hahahahahahahahahaha
That’s what you get for being so stupid. Twats.

There's a huge amount of morons here too, and they read celebrity news just like them fucking Brazilians, but at least they admit it, they enjoy their mental illness to the full. If you're ill, enjoy your illness. Well done English morons. If you buy certain garments cos such and such wore them just to have a bit of immortality, go for it. Soon more of you are going to realize we are already immortal, and you, I, the Brazilians, are all the same fucking thing.

By the way, this is the video. Sweet little beach shag. Beautiful Cicarelli, hope you had an immense orgasm and that your businessman boyfriend takes you to places, far away from the Brazilian crap. Love (and sex), P

Lucid after Christmas

Some friends squatted a 32 million pound (?) house in beautiful square in central London. They live there, yes, for now. We gathered for a Christmas celebration that lasted 3 days, spread across 5 floors, but happened mainly in that amazing room in the basement... umm... I tried to write about it but after deleting everything 3 times I decided to share with you the fact that I had to chuck a piece of clothing in the bin when I got back home. We actually discussed how to face the outside world after all that finished. That's cos we were quite lucid. Too much I think. Anyway, since my literacy left me unelaborated I'll pass this text to you. It's about little DMT creatures. I traced a parallel in my head. That's all I can say, really.

http://deoxy.org/timemind.htm

Merry Christmas - The making of Santa Claus

Part 1



Part 2

50p? No, thanks.

I share my bandwidth with my lovely housemates, but sometimes the modem crashes, and it is locked in the office, and I don't have the key so fuck it. Got myself a nice cable internet for a reasonable price. They are coming next week! Pretty quick! The cable internet lady offered me cable TV for only 50p more and I said NO really loud. TV is not worth 50p! I love that it rhymes...

Should I stay or should I go?

Imagine

Not in my ass, please.

I can't sleep. Tomorrow I have to present a lesson to my fellow classmates so they can evaluate it. I'm on a music tutor training course, fuck. I can't think of anything. I should have it ready by now, but I keep thinking about big things, especially those I can't do anything about, like politics. I don't like governments. I like Bakunin. I chose a few quotes I like so I can share with you and go to sleep, hopefully. Big up for B.

"The liberty of man consists solely in this: that he obeys natural laws because he has himself recognized them as such, and not because they have been externally imposed upon him by any extrinsic will whatever, divine or human, collective or individual"

"Freedom without Socialism is privilege and injustice. Socialism without freedom is slavery and brutality"

"People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy"

"To revolt is a natural tendency of life. Even a worm turns against the foot that crushes it. In general, the vitality and relative dignity of an animal can be measured by the intensity of its instinct to revolt."

"The freedom of all is essential to my freedom."

"If there is a State, then there is domination, and in turn, there is slavery."

"Where the state begins, individual liberty ceases, and vice versa."

"From the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal. There are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses and idiots."

"Does it follow that I reject all authority? Far from me such a thought. In the matter of boots, I refer to the authority of the bootmaker; concerning houses, canals, or railroads, I consult that of the architect or engineer."

"But I recognize no infallible authority, even in special questions; consequently, whatever respect I may have for the honesty and the sincerity of such or such an individual, I have no absolute faith in any person. "

"I am conscious of my inability to grasp, in all its details and positive developments, any very large portion of human knowledge."

"If you took the most ardent revolutionary, vested him in absolute power, within a year he would be worse than the Czar himself. "




Bakunin and Antonia

Reminiscing

Walking... better, skipping down the street looking for a restaurant, staring at old buildings and posters, I remembered I had 15.000 in my pocket. I felt really rich. Could get even more thousands from the bank. I could be properly rich wasn't I in Hungary, where my 15.000 are worth 18 pounds, but it feels good. We went to a tea house and stared at the menu for a while. So many options! Dark coloured tea from Nepal with an unobtrusive nutty taste, perfect for drinking after a storm in the late afternoon. Ummm... No. Himalayan tea to be drunk reminiscing. Yes. I dwelled on my past. I dwell on it so I can chuck it away. Digest it. Gone. Can't see the point of keeping some memories. The start of a new chapter demands emptying mail box, cardboard boxes and mind clutter. I did it right there.

Why would I keep old messages? So I can stare at my worn out tail creeping into the unchangeable past? Do you read your stinking old messages? Do you still read your old lover's first attempt to seduce you? Or maybe your old lover's final bitter message? I don't. I keep some of their pictures in folders I don't really open, and sometimes I delete them, and it feels better.

I think about studying psychology 'cos I love reading about it, 'cos I think I can be good at it, but when I bump into people's memories form too long ago it gives me the creeps. I move on quickly and can't really understand why others won't. Should I study psychology anyway? I suppose so. What could come after a degree really fascinates me. I could learn how to hypnotize people. They would cut their tails and move on. Some of them would be like geckos. You cut the tail and it grows back again. Are you a gecko?

I'm not a gecko. I smash my tail with a hammer. And I won't wait till memories go. I will chuck all rubbish away, clean my mailbox once again, and really concentrate on now.

Are you stuck in the same position, with your tail in-between your legs? Are you staring at the empty space your lover left when it went away? Are you going to be like the old man I saw in a park in Budapest, passively waiting for someone to play chess with him while rehearsing old moves in his head? He must have stayed there for hours. I really hope someone showed up to play chess with him. That is a nice Hungarian thing. Chess is cool.




Play me at gameknot.com

My username is Paulette
If only the old man knew about online chess playing...

Ask me

Yes, that's how I really look like. When I have pictures taken I hold my face straight with little pieces of transparent tape, and tons of make-up on the top. I wear a nice plastic face to go to work. That's why I get so many jobs, I suppose. People like plastic.

My life runs smoothly. Everything is as it should be, and it irritates me. When everything is in "order", I attract different situations. People start talking about train times or what they ate for dinner, and I feel like hanging myself. Is it how it feels to be Swedish? Bang.

I am going to get out of this loop or I'll have to cause a big problem for myself, switch off and make tons of pure music. You laughing? That's how it goes. Ask a musician.

The U.S.A. own space

That's a cracker: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/bsp/hi/pdfs/18_10_06_usspace.pdf

Source office: http://www.ostp.gov/

Playing with knives

I played records in the most unusual circumstances, and to be honest these are the ones I like the most. Back in Brazil when I still played techno, I remember my gig at Temp in a huge "samba warehouse", pouring down with rain outside, the floor was wet and the equipment kept giving me electric shocks. In an inexplicable fit of masochism I kept messing around with the mixer like never before. Ouch.

Another remarkable episode in Sao Paulo was when my friend R played at Lov.e, one of my favourite clubs ever. We went there together, very early cos he was the first to play, and when opened his case he noticed he had forgotten his headphones. Loads of people coming, panic, what should we do? Haha. Leave me to it, I said. Go get your headphones, mate. He left me with his bag full of records and my favourite dance floor to entertain. I mixed the tunes for half an hour by watching the level meters flashing. The mixer so smooth, the sound so clear, the crowd so lovely...

There were so many nights filled with technical problems. Cross faders coming off in my hands, no monitors, inverted knobs (maximum is minimum and vice versa), fucked up needles, fucked up mixers, all sorts. Last Friday I played at The Synergy Party at SeOne, a massive club under London Bridge, high ceiling, brick walls giving that nice industrial feeling to it, full of smiley hippies mixing party, protest and quality information. Good stuff. 4 sound systems, food and proper coffee.

So I got to the stage to play at the Peace not War sound system. Most people were sitting down cos it was 6 in the morning, the crazy ones were in the trance sound system but the vibe was good nonetheless. I asked the Mc to say some crazy shit and he looked at me suspiciously. Hold on mate, I thought. Wait till I smash your brain with my music.

I started playing. In 5 minutes there were 100 more people and by the end of the set they were hundreds, screaming thank you, with that ecstasy urgency. I know, I know, my shit is heavy. Sometimes too heavy.

I asked the longhaired middle aged hippie engineer to record it with my mini disc but he said the batteries went and he replaced them but it stopped a few times anyway, so I have fragments of that night, which is a shame. Haha, I was missing the technical problems. But hey, I recorded a session at home with the same records so if you want to hear what it sounded like, click here

Mushroom talk

"[...]Since it is not easy for you to recognize other varieties of intelligence around you, your most advanced theories of politics and society have advanced only as far as the notion of collectivism. But beyond the cohesion of the members of a species into a single social organism there lie richer and even more baroque evolutionary possibilities. Symbiosis is one of these. Symbiosis is a relation of mutual dependence and positive benefits for both of the species involved. Symbiotic relationships between myself and civilized forms of higher animals have been established many times and in many places throughout the long ages of my development. These relationships have been mutually useful; within my memory is the knowledge of hyperlight drive ships and how to build them. I will trade this knowledge for a free ticket to new worlds around suns younger and more stable than your own. To secure an eternal existence down the long river of cosmic time I again and again offer this agreement to higher beings and thereby have spread throughout the galaxy over the long millennia. A mycelial network has no organs to move the world, no hands; but higher animals with manipulative abilities can become partners with the star knowledge within me and if they act in good faith, return both themselves and their humble mushroom teacher to the million worlds all citizens of our starswarm are heir to."

How to find happiness

If you want to be happy, move to someplace where more people report feeling that way. However, the happiest countries may not be the ones you want to go to. And don't get breast implants, unless you want to become seriously depressed.

An analysis of happiness in more than 65 countries by the World Values Survey shows Nigeria has the highest percentage of happy people, followed by Mexico, Venezuela, El Salvador and Puerto Rico, while Russia, Armenia and Romania have the fewest. They say, "New Zealand ranked 15 for overall satisfaction, the U.S. 16th, Australia 20th and Britain 24th-though Australia beats the other three for day- to-day happiness."

The things that make people happy vary. Personal success, self-expression, pride, and a high sense of self-esteem are important in the United States. "In Japan, on the other hand, it comes from fulfilling the expectations of your family, meeting your social responsibilities, self-discipline, cooperation and friendliness," the researchers say.

The study shows that happiness has remained the same in industrialized countries since World War II, even though incomes have risen, except for Denmark, where people have become more satisfied with life over the last three decades.

But one thing that doesn't make people happy is getting more things. The study says, "Survey after survey has shown that the desire for material goods, which has increased hand in hand with average income, is a happiness suppressant."

One example of this is the fact that women who can afford the luxury of breast implants are more than three times as likely to commit suicide. Ceci Connolly writes in The Washington Post that studies in Finland, Sweden and the U.S. all show the same reaction. This isn't true with women who've had mastectomies, only with those who enlarge their breasts for cosmetic reasons.

Being able to spend money this way is an incredible luxury, so why does it leave women so depressed? Researchers think that women who want this kind of procedure think it will solve their psychological and dating problems-and then find out it doesn't. "The ironic thing is that nobody was looking for this suicide information," says Joseph K. McLaughlin, who ran the Finnish study. "There have been lots of studies of women with breast implants, and the only consistent finding that's problematic is the suicide excess."

Women's advocate Diana Zuckerman says, "Tripling the risk of suicide is a shocking finding-growing evidence that the 'cure' might be worse than the problem it is supposed to solve. We can't just go along with the manufacturer's assumptions that implants are great for women's mental health."

One key to happiness is finding inner peace.


Found at http://www.unknowncountry.com/ via God is not an asshole

Downward spiral

You've been reading far too many books on body language. I've got my arms crossed cos I'm cold, shit. Nothing against you, mate. No, I'm ok. Just a bit distressed. Forgot my book twice this week and got hooked again. No books in the train, let's grab a newspaper. First I read them cos I have no books and a few days later I just read them for the sake of it, leaving my book in the catacombs of my huge bag. A few weeks pass and I'm looking for them papers avidly.

Sometimes I just don't think. You see me checking every carriage while the tube train stops at the station, as if I'm looking for someone, my eyes surveying all seats like a boarding school inspector. Even when I'm right at the beginning of the platform and I have to peep real quick cos the train is moving real fast, I still try. It all means I woke up too late so there is no more Metro newspaper by the entrance of the station, but I can usually find one. Immediately in those lucky days, never in those bad ones.

For some unknown reason, in the last couple of months the free newspapers multiplied themselves like gremlins in a pond. We now have 3 types of fuckers, and an average 25 copies laying around in each carriage. They are made with special ink that doesn't come off on your hands. Goooooooood. Content? The Metro is quite entertaining but full of useless statistics. The other 2? Well... Kate Moss farted, X got bigger boobs, Y got stabbed, letters from the furious readers, completely revolted with Madonna's new African baby (get a life!), and so on.

The TV critic used a whole page to completely destroy 3 programs, and I wondered what type of human being watches complete rubbish in order to criticize it. Isn't it the most miserable way to spend your days?? And then I realized I was down there in the food chain. I was criticizing the negative critic of rubbish TV programs, so I must be three times worse.

So in this downward spiral of filthiness I came out of the tube to find a Big Issue seller. God bless ya, mate. Bought it and read it, cleaning my system, brought back to light.

Here is the ad that I like the most:

Say goodbye to your petrol station. Use totally green road fuel. A simple upgrade can make most diesel lorries, vans and cars run on locally-produced, carbon neutral rapeseed oil. Feel good about your car and fight climate change.

http://www.biomotors.co.uk/

To speak the truth they will have closed mouths.

Lovely. All of a sudden television and glossy magazines seem to be relevant and useful. Read this:

[...]The critical mass of enlightenment can be defined as the smallest number of awakened human beings whose collective influence can initiate a significant shift in global consciousness. The process of creating enough enlightened ones to achieve this critical mass can be likened to the transformation of coal into diamonds. The pressure of surrounding human unconsciousness creates an urgency in the potential enlightened one to awaken from illusion. The total weight of so much unconscious 'carbon' exerts a tremendous pressure, through which a few coal stones reach the appropriate mass to become 'diamonds.' These awakened beings embody the crystal clarity of enlightened consciousness which can transform the level of consciousness of the entire planet.

[...]


The end of the Kali Yuga is history's darkest moment. In her dark age, the population explosion has dumped more unconscious human burdens on the Earth than ever before. According to the Indian mystic, Osho, these darker times exert a higher pressure of unconsciousness, which could produce a greater buddhatomic detonation of joy and awareness. Osho estimates that at least 5 percent of the human seed base has the potential intelligence to germinate an awakening. Out of an expected manure pile of 5.5 to six billion people fertilizing earth during the nightmarish nineties, there are more potential buddha buds than there were people alive on the Earth at any time for most of man's four million year history - between 275 to 300 million spiritual rebels![...]

http://deoxy.org/critmass.htm

Dragons are princesses

Oooook, life goes on. I can tell you are wondering which nasty company I'm working for now. It's a very nasty one. Westminster council. Legal daylight robbery going on in London, people. I won't give you a full parking price list cos there must be children awake at this time, but I'll tell you, people are not happy with the rules downtown. Today an angry guy did the maths and guessed if he comes to west end everyday he would spend 200 pounds a week on parking and congestion charge and fees, and probably unfair tickets to add on. They are pushing, and I'm pulling. Don't use you car then, for fuck sake!

Quoting my friend P quoting someone else:
"Perhaps all of the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is, in it's deepest being, something helpless that wants help from us."
Maybe Westminster council is a well-disguised environmental group that wants help from us. They want us to stop using our cars in order to save the planet! Oh, that's so noble!

Anyway, my job. My job is to inform people they can pay for parking by phone, and to let them know Westminster council will get rid of all the parking meters in 3 months so paying by phone will be the only method available. You have to have a credit card, a mobile phone obviously, and trust. A lot of trust. I couldn't work out what the environmental group behind Westminster council wants with this move, but I'm sure I will find out.

I guess you are worried about my safety. I mean, I could lose my 2 weeks job if they find out I gave away their identity. That's really nice of you, but don't worry cos as M pointed out, my google rating is 3, which means what I write is not really relevant to the bigger picture. Google keeps 10 wise bearded men and a Geek with a clipboard in a room in China. The wise bearded men browse the web day and nite, all of them simultaneously reading the same website (sic), while the geek with the clipboard takes notes on how many wise bearded men nodded with their hand in the chin. Only 3 bearded men nodded while reading my blog, so I can write whatever I want. Thanks wise bearded men.

My job starts really early so I have my Colombian coffee with buttered toast and a ginko bilobaobaoba pill, which allows me to be 10 times more clever right away and read my book in the tube. I'm reading Kurt Vonnegut Jr.'s Breakfast of Champions. It's one of the funniest and wisest books I read lately. Wild fantasy. I love when a book makes me look forward to getting in the tube again. This one does.